I am rather practical guy that likes to see things done. Was never much into theories. At the same time my wife often calls me philosopher and I fully relate to that :). But being philosophical for me is also very practical, as in my philosophical speeches I give, I rather talk about observations, try to describe how things work and what are the underneath rules/lows that are effecting my daily life. So today being into philosophical mood here is what I figure out while running.
As mentioned in my WHY I STARTED post, one of the triggers of my commitment to running and early waking up was The Power of Habit book. I also mentioned in this post that at some point of my holiday time I always start to analyse my life. The outcome of this year analysis 🙂 was that in general I am not consistent with what I start and I am really not happy about it. As I never give up and want to fight my weakness I committed to 30 days (30habit) of early waking up and running. I also mentioned in few posts that I am mostly afraid of going back the old track when life get’s busy again. First week of my 30habit was very calm at work due to holiday time, also school year did not start yet for my kids so I know I could focus on my commitment more the in my usual life. So naturally worry about the future is there.
But, today I had really enlightening moment :). Listen to this. You really have to listen, it is going to be really, really interesting. I found a pattern in my life. I realised that actually every year during holiday time I decide to keep my life less busy. You know those holiday times when you see things from different perspective and you suddenly realise that you run in this life sort of blindly, and that your life is very often like rollercoaster from which you can’t get out. You think about things that you always wanted to do but in busyness of life you don’t? Trying to get out, you commit to good things. You say: “I will run regularly”, “I will eat well”, “I will spend more time with family/friends”. Do you have that? I surely do. What happens next I think I don’ have to tell you. Few weeks pass and we are back to old tracks, we are back to our busy lives. We say: “Well, life is just busy, it is how it is, that is the world we live in”. And it is true, life is busy indeed.
But bare with me for the moment, just one more moment. You know what? Today I actually asked myself what busyness actually means. And I figured out that the word does not really make sense on it’s own. Actually I thought that something like busyness does not really exists. You can be busy with SOMETHING and then it makes sense but just saying I am busy it is huge oversimplification. So in fact it is not busyness that fills our lives it is that SOMETHING that we are busy with that does.
WOW. Now listen further, really, please. You know where I am getting to? What if that SOMETHING is our habits? What if what I experience now is not the fear of going back to busy life but fear of going back to old track in which I am busy with habits that are not good for me, that are harmful and does not add value to my life. Maybe it is all about habits. Yes it has to be. It is my habit to stay up late, it is my habit to wake up late it is also my habit to work in the public transportation while I could do other cool things like blogging 😁. What if my life is busy with good habits, those that add value to my life, those that make me a better men, those that enrich my relationships with others. Would I be also afraid to come back to my busy life after holidays? There is this gentel voice in me that says no. But I need to find it out by myself. The jurney to discovered that has began.
Run finished in 45:39.